Prayers for this child

I have been a Sara Groves fan for a very long time. In fact I feel like every happy, sad, and in between moment of my life has a Sara Groves song that goes with it. We had "He's Always Been Faithful" played at our wedding. And I can't even begin to recount all the times her other songs have ministered to my heart. Well, this weekend Lylah and I took a little road trip and since my lil' lady fell asleep that meant that I got to listen to mommy music- my choice of course- Sara Groves.

Anyway, I was driving along singing and thinking about how tough the adoption process is. The waiting (which there is lots of) gives me time to worry, "what if Lydia doesn't love us", "what if I can't fix her hair?", "what if family and friends don't accept her" it also gives me time to doubt, "this is too big-we'll never see her face to face", "the funds will never come in", "no one will come to our picnic". You get the idea. Anyway, then I hear this song (which I have already cried all the way through several times as I was pregnant with Lylah):

PRAYERS FOR THIS CHILD
I do not know how I am to pray for this child
as a mother I don't want my baby denied
but in the waiting in the waiting
I learned

every instinct in me wants to shield him from pain
take the arrows of misery heartache and blame
but in the sorrow in the sorrow
I learned to hold on

I only have two eyes - be all seeing
I only have two hands - be everywhere
I do not know enough - to be all knowing
I give this baby up into your care

I do not know how, how to pray for this child
I want to guard her from everything wicked and wild
but in the trial in the trial
I learned to hold on
And in the trial, in the trial
I learned to hold on to the heart of God

God reminded me through those lyrics. That wherever Lydia is, and whatever she is going through, it is part of her story. God knows. All the other trials, waitings, and sorrows that she (and Lylah for that matter) experiences even after she is with us will in His grace be used to show her His heart. So. I DON'T NEED TO BE ANXIOUS. That is obviously easier said than done as I'm sure it always will be (can anyone say teenage years?), but I can think back on my own life as a testimony of the truth behind the lyrics and even now as we wait I will now pray that I will hold to the heart of God. I can rest in this waiting, knowing that God will use every moment of Lydia's life, even those moments before she gets to us, for His glory. It is all part of His Soverign plan for her. I'm so thankful for that truth and I'm also thankful for song writers who can communicate those truths so well. I'm also thankful that He brought us to this adoption journey, and one day to Lydia.